Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
Boobs are out for the taking
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
He threw up on my head while I was blowing him, and then I started barfing, and the kitchen floor was a mess. Believe me, he will never, ever live this down.
Jesus when did you leave my house? I found 2 bottles of wine, vodka, and a book with blow all over it wondering if I was read bedtime stories
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
Randomize
