Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap.
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
I'm about to punish you for sending me a Snapchat of your boyfriend's morning wood
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
How did delivering mac n cheese to my drug dealer become a two hour outing?
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
Bear grylls would be proud of my improvisation. Just used her vibrator to massage my back after hurting it at work.
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Randomize
