it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
Jared is "trying to bite a strangers hat off" drunk. Oh, and that stranger is a girl at a table of 5 guys, one girl.
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
Nothing says I've got my life together like vomiting on the groom and passing out at your youngests sisters wedding
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
All three of my roommates have their significant others over. We're all hanging out in the living room. It's like I'm the trifecta of third-wheeling
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
Randomize
