mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
he emptied an entire bag of goldfish onto the bed and rolled around yelling the theme to jaws trying to eat them
is this the sara with the beer cane?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
i just remembered that i did the "single ladies" dance ON THE BAR...fuck you slippery nipples i curse the day i discovered you
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Partial kegs from last night are currently in my bathtub, which leads me to 2 questions: 1. What are you doing tonight? 2. Can I use your shower?
I cannot believe this. A potential 2016 Olympiad wants my vag. To which I respond "GO FOR THE GOLD"
you have to be that girl in the audience holding up the sign that says i fucked the shit out of you
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
He walked in on me masturbating and on my phone but got mad because I wasn't watching porn just tweeting
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
Randomize