help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
She's the barista slut.
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
I received a text promising me sex if I drove to Memphis this weekend. Too bad for my penis that we're watching zombie movies and playing cards.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
I'm gonna invite every single tinder date I've had to my birthday. Let them fight, battle Royale style. The winner gets to fuck me. \n\nBest. Birthday. Ever
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
Randomize
