I love black thongs
my mouth tastes like poor choices
I'm eating all of the evidence.
you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
1) I'm a decent drunk texter. 2) My world is spinning. 3) I'll give you a dollar and a hug for a glass of water. 4) I love you. 5) Example: your penatrive ways are overwhelming my alternative lyfestyle. 6) That is all.
7) Noodle arms: engage
The example was me just using big words while hammered. You're welcome. Ambidextrious. I spelled it right.
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
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