I wish I only lived at night.
Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
i feel so shallow. people in iran are using twitter to write hardcore nathan hale shit about dying for freedom. my last tweet was "i hate the taco shits"
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
So i just bought beer on a credit card, using a fake ID, while wearing my nametag from work. All 3 have different names on them. God i love my boobs.
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
You called me at 4am shouting drunk shit about Poland and asking me to 'come out and play.' Where the fuck were you?
Poland
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
Randomize
