I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
i think I'm just gonna buy a new vibrator, body pillow, some guys cologne to spray on it, a life time supply of wine and weed and be done with all this shit
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
Your heart is a swirling cauldron of blackness that does not pump blood but rather a sludgey mixture of evil and broken dreams.
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
Two options. One, you listen while I freak out. Two, we have mediocre to awesome car sex and don't talk. Either way, I'll be there by 7
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
Randomize
