Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
ROADTRIP.
A little boy in a bathroom stall just shouted "mom where's your penis?? Is it inside you?"
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
I thought it was your cat but I was wrong your Roomba is possessed by a pissed-off evil spirit.
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