Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
I either have a razor blade lodged in my throat or I've been drinking entirely too much Evan Williams.
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
I found them. Thank God. Now I'm gonna have to take a Xanax for the panic attack I almost had trying to find my Xanax.
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
Randomize
