I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
Is it physically possible to shit out my own bone marrow? Because if not, then I need to see a doctor immediately.
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
I want her autograph on my taint
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
How in the fuck did you get LIVE MOTHER FUCKING BATS!?!?! Into my ROOM last night????
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
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