I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
No one would take shots with Caroline so she asked the bartender for like 20 jagerbombs and then shouted "JAGERBOMBS FOR HOMELESS ANIMALS BENEFIT" and everyone started doing them with her
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
how does someone with a Masters Degree leave poop in an ashtray in the sink? It just blows my mind
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
I’M PUT OFF FROM FOOD RN BC EARLIER I GOT SOME WATER AND I WAS 4 SIPS IN WHEN I NOticed A FUCKING BURGER KING F R Y IN MY D R I N K
Randomize
