your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
so i was eating a special k bar this morning for breakfast and started choking on it so i reached into my bag for water turns out it was liquor.
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
Told the cab driver to take me to narnia last night. Turns out there's a bar called narnia on the south side of town. We are in business
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
Oh god it's open bar.
I made a bucket list last night. Number 5: Will marry a wizard.
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
Randomize
