Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
I know I know. I considered playing it sober but after I typed out IS SHE A GENIE? I knew it was impossible to hide.
you were saying "i am the vodka queen!" and then in a different voice replying to yourself "all hail the vodka queen! you are so beautiful!"
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
3 things I learned last night: 1.) I'm not as light as I used to be. 2.) Sex on the roof of a convertible is a really bad idea. 3.) The hospital now has super glue pens for sealing minor cuts instead of stitches!
She said she'd heard about my nickname in high school. Apparently sledgehammer isn't as popular as you'd believe...
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
I just recorded myself pooping, then uploaded to google drive, then connected to my pc through teamviewer then downloaded it, then played it to the living room while still pooping. God I love the internet.
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
Randomize
