If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
A girl just asked me to co-sign for her boob job because she didn't have enough credit built up. This is a first.
I found a vibrator in my car and it's not mine...this is becoming a weird day.
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
The guy behind me is talking about how his life goal is to use his knowledge of mathematics to make the world a better place. My only life goal right now is getting through this lecture without throwing up in my lap.
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
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