he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Stop introducing me to people as your little sister.
I don't think the lady gaga poster on your wall qualifies you as a brother.
He's drunk and putting on a tie for the jimmy john's delivery guy
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
Santa brought me a 1.75 of wine, and a liter of patron. I probably won't remember Christmas, so don't ask me how it was tomorrow.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
I'm 2 beers deep on an empty stomach, and I just wanna say, I pride myself on my use of commas
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
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