Something in my vomit makes me think I shouldn't have had that slurpee
So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
Hey, just wanted to let you know that University Police stopped by and repossessed the stolen laundry basket. And the 8 bottles of detergent.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
May the power of my ass compel you!!
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
If I die on my walk home, please come claim the body. There is $30 in my left shoe for you....for pizza
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
Randomize