is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395...
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
Remember that time you puked in the middle of wendy's?
Yeah, why?
The staff still remembers me for cleaning it up. Thanks for the free frosty and fries
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
Randomize
