I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name.
Your mom can still drink beer standing on her head! Talk to you tomorrow :)
Mom wtf!?
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
It must be illegal for me to be this drunk in front of this many children
There are parrots here and they're headbanging to the music. There's also a clown and a pit bull that can jump onto tables. Too high for this shit.
Some Russian dude just came up to us and I'm pretty sure he offered his girlfriend to have sex for 80 bucks. Whoever said porn movies were unrealistic.
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
I didn't pay for a single drink 'help me I'm poor' was my drink pickup line. it totally worked.
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
I am walking funny today. And it's sad because it's from the bad encounter with the sidewalk rather than a good encounter with a stripper
I've needed to start drinking protein shakes to keep up with her. It's like my dick just started doing crossfit.
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
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