Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
Why does Corona taste like a burp?
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
Randomize
