I woke up at 1pm, looked in the mirror and fist pumped...I might still be drunk
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
I'm sitting on the floor singing Bruno mars while they cook and occasionally pet me
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
Randomize
