Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
I preemptively put on a cape before eating a bunch of weed brownies. Best decision ever.
It's my birthday weekend! I'm getting a Brazilian and he's going to fucking Arkansas. Where the fuck are his priorities?
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
So what we learned was that it doesn't matter how skinny the stripper is, if she sits on your knee with a torn acl for two hours it's going to swell up
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
