hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
So thanks to the xanax and vodka memory erasering combo i wake up only to reopen a picture of some very familiar balls
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
Going to rent a magician for when I eat shrooms. How has no one thought of this?
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
First thing that comes on in the morning is kanye's I can't hold my liquor. yeezus lives.
I had a dream I got back with Amanda. And then cheated on her the same day. Even my conscious is a dick
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
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