Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
I went to go pee and found a strand of your hair wrapped around my penis.
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
I need to move out. I just walk of shamed my way into a family breakfast party. There's no response when grandma says "where you coming from in heels at 9AM?"
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
Note for the future: whiskey syrup is AMAZING on 3am pancakes.
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
The fact that I can sew my leggings while intoxicated proves I'm a functioning alcoholic
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
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