So, we're in the car ready to fuck and she asks about my ex. I wave at my lap and say, "bye". She asks what I'm doing. I say, "waving goodbye to my erection"
So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
I was just told by a cop that my party was the most epic party they ever crashed
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
I'm so high I just tried to eat a hair tie thinking it was one of my pretzels.
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
Randomize
