I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
I found you in the bathroom. You were sitting cross-legged on the floor wearing nothing but socks completely surrounded by broken crayons.
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
Randomize
