I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
When your boyfriends ex-girlfriend texts you to see what you're wearing to his sister's wedding that you were not invited to, nor knew about. I think it's time to call it quits.
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
I hit a child with a fudge sickle from a moving vehicle after he flipped me off, I feel like a God. Tell no one. My partner didn't see it.
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
Please ask me to tell you about the time I watched two of my friends chase my drunk roommate with a broken foot around downtown
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
Randomize
