the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
I want to let you in on my two latest life goals. Have a photograph of me squirting whipped cream into a midget's mouth, and have sex on a roof.
Send me the picture of my mugshot, my boss got arrested last night and I'm trying to make her feel better.
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
Just because I'm sleeping with him doesn't mean I'm in love with him, it means that I want to have sex with someone who isn't a serial killer.
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
Randomize