I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
remember when you found twisted pleasure condoms in my parents bathroom? theyre gone.
): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
THAT FUCKER WASTED TWO OF MY COLORED CONDOMS! HE DIDN'T EVEN FUCKING FINISH IN IT HE JUST SLAPPED IT ON AND WASTED IT!
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
I told the border patrol officer she was smuggling drugs in her ass. I doubt she cheats on me again.
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
I need your help immediately! I sorta kinda sliced my foot off at the ankle with my new kitana. Bring your cooler, ice and some hospital road beers.
Randomize
