I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
Starting the day with sex, coffee and productivity are what the founding fathers intended
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
I guess when the asshole said “I really miss you and want to get back together” he actually meant “I’m banging a Hooters girl behind your back.”
I hope she gives him gonorhea
Randomize