I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
It's embarrassing enough people in my life are aware of the ridiculous things that happen to me. I don't think we need to get the whole world involved.
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
Randomize
