It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
I woke up on my floor...
I woke up with colors of the wind playing on repeat on my laptop...
what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
Don't be alarmed at the kitchen mess. I had to shoot the fire extinguisher on the toaster oven, one quick blast. It was a matter of safe over sorry.
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
You're going to replace me with a robot made of heating blankets and a vibrator?