I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
Why is your vibrator in the fridge?
I'm testing sex in Alaska before I go there.
My cab driver just texted me 'goodnight beautiful'. I think my 'desperate for a guy phase' has just moved into a fuck my life phase.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A guy just walked down the street dressed as Mickey Mouse holding a 40oz. Where the hell did you leave me?
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
I'm hoarding IKEA meatballs in my purse
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
I'm saying "I told you so" now so that I don't slow down to say it on the way to grab the fire extinguisher
Randomize