Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
my mom just walked in on me furiously masturbating while reading twilight. needless to say, im officially out of the closet.
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
Let's just do a victory lap through all of our exes.
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
Randomize
