hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
Need a travel agent to tell me which countries in Asia have legalized prostitution for New Year. Fireworks would be cool too.
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
Randomize
