Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
So from zero to dumpster fire, how shitty do you feel this morning? I'm hovering somewhere around trainwreck.
OMG I accidentally abducted a cat. Now there is a cat in my apartment. I NEED TO UNDO WHAT I HAVE DONE
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
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