eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
i just got offered coke by a strung out pilot. my night just got a lot more interesting.
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
How many beers are too many "cause it's Archer Thursday" beers?
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
Opening beer with my teeth is getting easier the drunker I become.
It turns out my teeth are bleeding.
We are both federal employees and Obama gave us a four-day weekend to lie in bed. Do you know how many orgasms that will be? I knew there was a reason I voted for this guy.
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
if I hear Wonderful Christmastime one more time I'm putting my foot up Paul McCartney's ass.
Randomize
