jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
I tried carrying you from the bathroom to your bed and you begged me to bring the toilet too
Just got a nosebleed, my period and the runs all at the same time. I'm either dying, or this is the first sign of the apocalypse. You warning you in case it's the latter.
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
And then she sprinted three blocks through live traffic towards McDonalds screaming "THE GOLDEN ARCHES ARE CALLING ME"
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
A Valium induced mom decided to walk into my bedroom this morning without knocking. Guess what I was doing? FML
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