Where are you?
In a non slutty way
I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
It's like the blind leading the senile over here.
UPDATE: shit just got real- grandma is threatening to beat grandpa with a wooden spoon covered in chili.
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
I woke up, topless, my car was parked funny so I threw on my hoodieto go fix it and found a jello shot in my pocket. where did I go last night?!
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
Randomize
