Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
She went to the bathroom before i broke up with her so i changed all 2500 of her songs on her computer to "I'm a cheating whore"
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
I stole a road cone for their 13 yr old son. Apparently I told him to put Christmas lights on it, and "treat her like a lady."
I'm covered in pickle juice. Why do you people leave me alone?
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
Somehow i instagrammed my acceptance letter while blacked out. Then my grandma was the first to comment on it. I got over 50 likes....Phd here I come....
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
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