do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
I feel like death. And death is wearing a fleece blanket as a dress. And is seriously contemplating wearing this to go get something to eat.
I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
She throws back shots like they are NO-THING. I swear, she goes through like five straight tequila shots, does a jello shot, chases with half a hot dog, has a rum and coke, and then takes her shirt off and makes an impromptu bandage out of it for fuckin' Tim who cut himself on the flagpole. I'm going to marry her.
The selfie stick gets 5 stars bc it really added a fun element to my sex tape
there is glitter all over my balls
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