My lawyer watched my DUI video. Said of the thousand or so he's seen, mine was one of the top ten best.
I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
Margaritas just taste better when they're bigger than your head
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
Randomize
