Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
I think I'm going to wait until after Halloween to call off the wedding. No need to ruin my favorite holiday.
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your lack of enthusiasm for my exciting news of drunken debauchery with an otherwise occupied vagina of one of my greatest conquests yet disturbs me. I'm not happy with you
I'm giving you an age limit on the people you're allowed to hit on at steak n shake at 3 am. I can't see straight and I want a cheeseburger. You want dick. I'm sure we can't order at least one of those. But maybe.
He's like a fucking cake pop, the greatest thing in the world while it lasts, but it never lasts for long enough
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
Um. Did you take a picture of me with a giant dildo after we went bowling?
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
the bright side of moving is at least my Tinder options will refresh
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
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