It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
Had to use Google translator to be able to tell the cleaning lady not to throw away the condoms we have strategically placed throughout the house.
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
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