woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
I want him to be the Hulk to my Brooke Hogan this Halloween. Can I ask him to be my daddy this weekend?
Only if you say it like that.
It's like the god of all feather dusters, but for your vagina
It really is the softest mustache
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
I need like a hormone stopper. Or a chastity belt. Or like a lady business alarm that goes off when I'm being too drunk.
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
Someone is giving away free yogurt on craigslist. Can I get a ride?
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
Randomize
