i think i have herpe
just one?
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
the only muscles i have these days is kegels
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
They are fixing my bike for free, trying to smoke me out, and their kids keep hugging me.
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
I shit you not. I was sitting on Brian's balcony...still drunk from the night before, and a hummingbird flew onto the patio, stared me right in the face and flew away. I feel like it was God's way of telling me, "Stop drinking."
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
Randomize
