She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
You weren't a difficult drunk to take care of. I just had to stop you from plunging the toilet once or twice.
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
I may or may not be taking a bath listening to the Phantom of the Opera. This lovely moment brought to you by xanax.
You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
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