found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
On your way out, lock the front door. And by lock the front door, I mean find the door handle, reattach it, and then lock it.
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
A worker across the alley is wearing your sombrero sans cat barf.
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
Dude I swear I'm scooping human shit out of the litter boxes. What the fuck happened last night?
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
Randomize
