I just sneezed everywhere.....everywhere. Now no one will talk to me.
if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
one minute he's happily playing with a lighter and the next thing I know, he's screaming and the swing set is on fire
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
She has the best kind of daddy issues
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
Randomize
