And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
people are starting to question the shark bite story
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
It was awkward being the only one at the wedding who knows that the bride and groom met when she gave him a lap dance at a strip club
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
Apparently, my drunken 3AM idea of safety is to send a GPS map of my location to someone 700 miles away. Seriously considering death as a viable alternative to this hangover. Death or Yuengling.
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
Good god you suck at this wake up call. Seriously. If I can, after consuming enough vodka to subdue a russian soldier, muster up enough motivation to call you in the morning and send you naked pictures the least you could do is pick up.
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
I don’t know whether to call out sick or call in drunk
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
I need advice on ways to politely say “fuck you on your way to hell”.
Randomize
