So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
I thought I was pretty much sober now but then I realized I've been eating scrambled eggs with my hands...
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
Randomize
