I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
I smuggled my gin and tonic out of the bar by shoving the glass in my pocket...mistakes were inevitable.
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
You straight up wore me out. This should be a proud moment for you. It's almost like my penis is asking for a timeout. But not really
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
Randomize
