I think I died a long time ago.
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
i probably shouldve stopped when i uncurled the curly straw in my cocktail because it was slowing me down
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
I'm going to sing sad and lonely Barbra Streisand songs at the top of my lungs if you don't get here soon
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
Turns out the grown up version of seeing your teacher shopping is seeing your therapist is on tinder
Randomize
