i tried to light my apt on fire. reasons why drunks and women should not cook
i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
so I called to to smoke and you didn't pick up so I smoked and now I'm a race car
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I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
Its like a match made in avoid-eachother-because-we're-antisocial-and-awkward heaven
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
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