Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
Oh you know, sitting here in my bathing suit watching antiques road show and petting the cat. Just the usual
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
My mom just told me she would flash her tits to a cop to get me out of jail, and then we high-fived.
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
Happy hour crawl turned into power happy hour turned into tequila shots turned into I'm drunk in class on Cinco de Mayo at 7 am.
Randomize
