I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
Randomize