Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
Today might be the day that I legitimately throw up in my saxophone.
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
if you're wondering why I texted you some girl's name at 4 am it's because you wanted to Facebook stalk the girl who gave that Irish guy we met at the Chinese food place her license and said 'call me'
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
Randomize
