I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
Just realized the fur coat I am wearing to the wedding is the one I had sex with the groom in
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
The jerky fairy visited my fridge. It's glorious.
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
Randomize
